4 Corners Quest - The Route

For posterity:

 

Powder Springs, GA -- Albuquerque, NM -- Santa Fe -- Durango (via Pagosa Springs), CO -- 

Moab, UT -- Page, AZ -- Tusayan -- Holbrook -- Ruidoso, NM -- 

Dallas, TX -- Opelousas, LA -- Powder Springs, GA

4,400 miles

4 Corners Quest - Top 12 Parks

On the long ride home, Emily conducted an opinion poll to judge the 12 'parks' we visited on the #4CornersQuest. It was a highly scientific, double-blind survey. We used the same survey techniques followed by The Coca Cola Company in the 1980's when comparing themselves with Pepsi. It worked for them, right?

The break point of 'worth it' 'would do it again' (Mendoza line, so to speak) lies between Tent Rocks and Petroglyphs.
The two clear winners were Arches, where we spent 2 great days, and Lincoln, which was a complete surprise. "Murdertown" was the phrase of the day while learning about Billy the Kid. Didn't take any photos in Lincoln, as we were afraid for our lives.

4 Corners Quest - Photos - Tent Rocks NM

Tent Rocks National Monument

We like to call these photos "Proof of Life"

End of the Hike

4 Corners Quest - Photos - ABQ

Albuquerque, NM

Bottom of Sandia Peak

75-degrees

Top of Sandia Peak

35-degrees

Waiting patiently for dinner in Old Town

or,

more accurately,

Pausing during a game of parking-lot tag, while waiting patiently for dinner in Old Town

Louise's Birthday loot

In the only donut shop not named "Dunkin"

It was a terrible disappointment.

ABQ is a donut desert, in a food heaven. 

4 Corners Quest - Photos - Amarillo

Amarillo, Texas

The Big Texan
72 oz of 'Merica

Cadillac Ranch
The wettest spring in recent memory
Spent 10 minutes scraping glue-mud off their sandals before heading off...







And a #NoFilter beauty, 
My suburban cowgirl
Completely responsible for said getup

4 Corners Quest - Day 16: Jornado del Muerto

Jornado del Muerto, loosely translated from Spanglish as ‘you’ve got one day to be found before you are dead’, is a topographic bowl in southern New Mexico where rain does not leave the area. We learned how the area formed skimming through the National Park museum while scamming another round of Junior Ranger badges:

Gypsum... yada yada yada... and then you’ve got White Sands National Monument, 

275 square miles (about the area inside I-285 in the ATL) of 20’-30’ dunes

What isn’t published for the masses, but you can find through the chat-rooms of abovetopsecret.com and thetruthseeker.co.uk, is that the lower elevation gypsum crystal sand is highly unique in that it absorbs O₂ from the air and kCal through osmosis. Those in the know call it 'Gypsum Geriatitus', as it causes involuntary naps. It’s all very scientific, and above the reach of this publication. 
The Spanglish believed that people would lay down to nap after a day’s journey due to the heat and lack of water; Gypsum Geriatitus was not yet understood by the Conquistadors.

Manifestations are found below, taken within moments of the 2-hour, out-of-the-way drive and purchase of sleds:

 

Ironically, Gypsum Geriatitus does not seem to have the same effect upon adults. While this has yet to be fully studied, early hypotheses are considering the Oxygen-depletion training inherent in a 3,700 mile roadtrip immersed in the continual chatter of others. As well, the Rents partook in generous snacking to counter gypsum caloric absorption. 

 

4 Corners Quest - Day 16: Lessons Learned, Part Last

The 3rd of 3 installments of road trip wisdom, if the below said can be considered such:

Sunscreen:

Put on enough to prevent blisters, and then chill out. American children spend 47 minutes a day putting on sunscreen, more than they spend bathing, brushing their teeth, combing their hair, and all other chores combined. Surely a 30 minute maximum screen-application timeframe is a reasonable compromise. Besides, if they get burnt, throw them in dark room for the day while you hang out on the porch relaxing. It's about time they learn a lesson or two. 

Prioritize your Activities:

Kill them before they die. 
Less is more. 
Leave them wanting more. 
Two events are only 50% better than one event. 
Three events are 15% better than two events
Four events incur negative outcomes. 
Diminishing returns.

Your kids will enjoy the vista for 4-37 seconds, depending on their age and gender. 
They run in parks, even National ones. Let them; Teddy would approve.

Parental Expectations:
When in crap souvenir shops, kids touch everything. What else are they supposed to do when surrounded by tchotchke? 
Leave your perfect planning eggs in the at-home basket. You have cannot control which kid will like which activity, regardless of how much you want them to do so. 
There is no correlation between money spent and intrinsic kid-joy. Actually, there is some promising University research that suggests that kids enjoy an activity in an inverse proportion to how much you paid for them to partake in it. 
There is hope in the long-term, as kids are revisionists; things that barely register to them mid-event become the stories of legend when they get home to tell their friends.

Kids wear out quicker than you (unless you are the grands; grands are ideal for taking kids on road trips, as they both need naps); build in down times, even down days. It is *not* a waste to take a breather; it is a waste to force another event/stop/activity when everyone would rather just swim. 

Et cetera: 

You're an adult, making a series of rational decisions, who will find yourself at wits end being surrounded by your irrational offspring. What did you expect would happen?
Don't take it personally; grab a coffee, Diet Coke, Keystone Light (w/ Lime), whatever works. Take a walk, or a run, or a nap. 

As a parent and road trip official, you are a shepherd, not a programmer. You guide, not coerce. 
Finally, and most importantly, Mom is in charge of checking all luggage before leaving; dads are incapable of successfully handling this administration. Better leave us to gas up and pack the back. 

4 Corners Quest - Day 15: Lessons Learned, Part 2

Hotels Smotels:

KOA's are worth every (saved) penny.

Kids and hotel rooms are like oil in water, and its no fun with your spouse continually ytelling the 9yo to stop stomping. 

It is stressful, crowded, and filled with the bacterial-ghosts of those who came before you. 

You dampen and drug the situation with bad cable TV, a poor substitute for life and the antithesis of why you've driven 2,000 miles to be here (except for ANW, see above).

Yes, Kamper Kabins require your own bedding and a walk to the bathrooms. But there's space, breathing room. KOA's have playgrounds and pools and fire rings. They have cheap pancake breakfasts and great people watching. If you dare, you might even strike up a conversation and find the random reasons others from all over the world have found themselves sharing the property for the night.

You are a picky sleeper. I get it. At home, we sleep in $1,000 beds with noise machines and ideal temperatures. But after a few nights, your body adjusts, and you sleep just fine.

The money you save on the night's stay and cheap breakfast pays for a great meal the next day.

Daily Bread:

One good meal a day is perfect. I love love love food; am a sucker for local-owned, local-style. Am so grateful for TripAdvisor to help me find gems. Each day enjoy a good solid meal, not rushed, not drive-thru. 

With the promise of a good meal to come, find contentment with granola, greek yogurt, fruit, GORP, hummus, veggie chips, etc (suburban white-people food). 

Overeating catches up with you; you can do it for a 3-day man-trip, but a road trip requires pacing.

Watch for Stools:

People react differently to changes in eating and life schedules. Take a bottle of Stool Softener pills. Better queasy about packing the pills than on Day 5 finding your offspring balled up in the back of the car cramped and crying with no memory of passing their daily bread. 

Less is More:

You've got your bedding, and your stool softener. You don't need much else. 

Pack less than you think you may need. You don't. 

Everything you bring has to be towed, packed, carried in/out and re packed.

You have to carry it or climb over it and it's not worth it.

Want to read? Paperbacks; or better yet, Kindle.

Need clothes? Take 3 changes (including what you are wearing) and do laundry. No one wants to travel in the car with piles of dirty ones.

Shoes? Two pairs: sneakers plus sandals.

4 Corners Quest - Day 14: Lessons Learned, Part 1

TheBowling6 has done a few of these roadtrip thingies; while we continue making mistakes, we've learned a bit as well. Some wisdom, if it may be deemed so:

Be flexible:

Do not plan every day, book every night, schedule every moment. 

You will waste something by making late-in-the-game decisions. 

You will waste more by forcing your family to drive to, attend, or participate in an activity no one actually wants to do now that you are on the road.

Remember:

Why are you spending your tax return, burning vacation, and stressing out the Mrs' van?

As simple as this sounds, decide the purpose before the trip, and keep it in mind. It helps make midstream decisions under changing conditions. 

For TheBowling6, we want to soak in and absorb the West, the Mountain Time Zone. Want to share it with the kids and hope they love it. The events of a given day are secondary to just being here, for slowly swerving out of my lane and off the road as I watch the sunset over the Sierra Blanca range. 

Life Continues:

I get why folks pay extra for inclusive resorts, places designed to be un-lifelike. To block out daily challenges, and to rest.

Road trips are different. 

Some days, some legs, something you've paid for, will be a waste. 

Bad weather, bad attitudes, bad planning, or bad luck. Maybe even someone nicking $700 worth of essential items off the back of your van while on Day 4 of your trip. 

End that day, lay your and your children's' heads down, pray for tomorrow, for forgiveness of whatever is harbored in your heart (and may have crept out of your mouth), your impatience and vain and misguided wishes that everyone else was the way you want them to be. Lay your head down, put your ear plugs in, and let tomorrow be a new day.

 

Monday Nights:

American Ninja Warrior starts at 8pm EST. Make sure you check your local listings and find a spot to watch it. 

4 Corners Quest - Day 14: Jammies

TheBowling6 jammies range from a full outfit to skibbies.

Garrett 
Packed none.
He actually packed very little of anything, so it should not surprise that he didn't haul clothing specifically to sleep in. Less is more.
To accommodate bunking with his female-dominated family, he puts on the next day's outfit the night before.
Two points for creativity.

Emily 
Has one outfit she's worn.
Upon further review it has been discovered that she's been wearing that same outfit for weeks, maybe months, before #4CornerQuest started.
There is no living memory of when these articles were last washed.

I used to think as Emily does: jammies don't get dirty; you're not doing anything in them.
I was corrected upon marriage however, with the Mrs. using questionable logic that you spend 8 hours a day in something, it gets dirty whether you're active or not.
Marriage is a compromise.

Louise
Finds the softest things she owns and wears them.
Doesn't matter what they look like.
Doesn't matter if they are clean or dirty.
Doesn't matter, as long as they are soft.
In reality, she's in the same boat as Garrett - didn't pack any jammies. She just is more subtle and doesn't announce it to the world.

Elizabeth
Only packed three outfits, one of which was on her body when we left home, and another which she pulled out of the dirty clothes basket just before pulling out of the driveway.
Can you see the theme here for Bowling children jammies?

Maggie & Alan

4 Corners Quest - Day 13: Nothink

NOTHINK | verb | \noh thingk\ | origin: Nick @ Night | Acting without considerations anticipated or typically found with a person of certain age and/or maturity.
Nothink is most clearly noticed when it follows somewhat mature actions, which, on their own, lead others to believe NOTHINK is a thing of the past. It has a sneaky nature.

Examples:
Louise, Elizabeth, and Garrett were climbing up and down boulders along the side of the Grand Canyon. Upon being called back to the trail by their father, Louise NOTHINKED a 10 pound rock over the ledge just traversed by Garrett and called out "AVALANCHE", missing Garrett's head by inches. 

While walking along the main road of Tusayan, AZ, a gust of wind took Elizabeth's hat off and caused it to roll into the roadway. In a moment of NOTHINK,  she put her head down and barreled out into the incoming traffic. 

For people over the age of discretion, NOTHINK is often termed DUMASSERY. 

4 Corners Quest - Day 10: Battle of the Four Corners

4 kids

4 Corners

Coincidence?

I think not.

The Monument is in the middle of nowhere, is not in the least attractive, added a good 3-4 hours of driving, and was considered of vital interest to the #4CornersQuest participants.

The above photo was planned and negotiated more than a few times by its participants. Who is to stand where?

Emily claimed New Mexico as her birthright.

In turn, Garrett wanted whatever state was closest to China, initially estimated to be Utah, given that China is north of whatever is below it, and Utah is north of Arizona.

Elizabeth, however, with her newfound love for Arches N.P., had her eye on Utah as well.

"Garrett, I think Arizona is closer to China. Right, dad?"

Catching what she was trying to do, knowing that neither kid had a clue which state was "closer" to China, not sure myself, and not averse to lying to decrease potential tension, I followed suit, "Yep, Arizona is like 5 or 6 feet closer on the angle. It's close, but has been survey verified."

All was well, as Elizabeth and Garrett made peace with their appropriate locations.

Louise, generally casual about things that don't actually matter, gladly accepted Colorado.

Border crossing and free-trade agreements are being negotiated.

4 Corners Quest - Day 9: Dr. Bronner's Many Uses

The Funk has arrived, and TheBowling6 is infected.

It has been aided by 9 days of open-toed shoes and reused underwear.

To counter this downward trajectory, Mom amps up the previous night's shower instructions:

"Tonight I want each of you to wash your ENTIRE body with Bronner's. TWICE."

Bronner's is kept in reserve for just such a moment as this.

Garrett, our most inadvertently entertaining one, responds, "Is that the smelly mint stuff? Thin body wash? I drank it once."

Never daunted in her quest to minimize group odor, Mom encourages him, "Garrett, you can put it wherever you want. The bottle says so." 

Don't just read the bottle.

Fight the Funk.

ENJOY ONLY 2 COSMETICS, enough sleep 4 Dr. Bronner's 'Magic Soap' to clean 

body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! All-One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness!

4 Corners Quest - Day 8. Negotiating with a Teenager

Emily keeps thing simple:

• Plenty of sleep,
• Weekly trip to the library,
• Low cardio expectations,
• Instagram and iMessages, 
• Fall out Boy, and
• 4-5 meals per day. 

She's always had her pop's taste for food, willing to try just about anything and almost always liking it.
Does me proud.

• She's also a bit of a foodie:
• Not interested in junk food,
• Wants to eat local-owned,
• Appreciates the magical properties of cheese, and, most-recently, 
• A full-fledged New Mexico Hatch Green Chili convert.

Does me proud.
While normally quiet and unassuming, she has been a bit bossy of late.

• I want Breakfast Burrito!
• I want Fry Bread!
• Do we have any more Sopapillas?
• I want Navajo Taco!
• I want Fry Bread!
• When are we going to get more Green Chili?

Does me proud.

4 Corners Quest - Day 7: Time is Relative

Garrett was up at 5:45 this morning to stretch his legs and relieve himself from the previous night's imbibements.
When I woke the kids an hour later, he was curled up under his sleeping bag playing his double hand-me-down DS.
Maggie searched for answers, "G-man, after you went to the bathroom this morning, did you go back to sleep?"
"Well, um, the details are a bit hazy, but I laid real still for like 20 minutes, and then played my DS for maybe half a minute before dad came in.
"I was as surprised as you were when I saw how the time had passed."

4 Corners Quest - Day 7. Shut-Up Sighting

<Background Information>

4 kids,

3 daughters, including,

1 teenage and 1 preteen daughter.

14yo Emily has been pretty casual re: her flirting partners. A bit of fandom from afar (Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy fame), but not much more. A few grins and giggles.

12yo Louise has got it a bit deeper in her blood, more interest, more something or other... I don't even know how to say it.

What I do know is that boys, or the names of boys, or the fear that another may be talking about a boy she may or may not know, be interested in, or may be rumored to have interest in... what I do know is that this is dangerous ground.

<Scene One>

TheBowling6 are dwelling in some cliffs, taking advantage of binoculars to people watch, as Louise pretends to sight a boy Emily may or may not have interest in. Grin and giggle.

<end scene one>

<Scene Two>

Emily, still grinning and giggling, banters back the name of a boy that Louise may or may not have interest in.

Now, the male species would block such potentially embarrassing or accurate concerns with a well-placed 'Your Mama' joke or a punch in the gut. If only...

"Shut Up!" Louise reacts, and then, "You too!"

<end Scene Two>

<Scene Three>

The critical feature of the Scene 2 was *not* the bowing up between sisters, an unhealthy but not mind-blowing or unheard of engagement.

The critical feature, and be forgiven for not anticipating how the plot was about to turn, was the character to whom "you too" was directed.

The one you should least direct such towards, the matriarch, Mom.

Please understand that while the previously-provided documentation is based upon context clues and post-incident interviews, and while I was approximately 42' away from said incident and with my back turned, the remaining testimony was loudly and very clearly witnessed.

"No, (said with an implied 'OH', in front of it, as in 'oh no') 
"Are you kidding me?

"I don't think so

"I am your mother

"You don't say 'shut up' to AN Y ONE

"You most certainly don't say that to me. I brought you into this world, I will take you out."

There may or may not have been a few other things said that were cut from the scene to protect the Mrs. from further actions.  

<end Scene Three>

<After-Credits Scene>

Mom is given a shot of whiskey from our emergency supply kit.

Dad and Elizabeth are found crouched in a Kiva, praying that they dodge any cross-fire, hoping to make it through the night.

Garrett's post-event testimony has too many inconsistencies to be admissible. He is cleared of any charges, given his lack of motive or comprehension of what just went down.

Emily is found grinning and giggling with her thoughts of Patrick Stump.
Louise, ironically enough, is the one child who most certainly does "shut up".

<Fade to Black>

4 Corners Quest - Day 7. The Pottery Bubble

Just returned from Mesa Verde National Park. Spent one hour on a guided tour of Balcony House, so we now know everything about the Anasazi (recently renamed A.P. - "Ancient Pueblos") tribe.
They lived in masonry-finished cliff dwellings for 100 years or so. Things were relatively stable for the A.P. They spent the growing season tending squash, corn, and beans, but were bored during the dull winter months they lived in their kivas.
National Park guide Bill mentioned 1 or 3 or maybe 5 times that to pass the time, the men made arrowheads, and the women, pottery. Bill seemed to think that anytime a woman had a moment, she'd dash off to make clay pots, pipes, butter dishes, ashtrays, you name it.
The arrowheads were always in short supply; too many lost aiming for the beer bottles lined up across the canyon.
The pottery, however, stacked up. From what I can piece together with the museum displays and a bit of my own investigation, the A.P. women were a bit more responsible than their counterparts, and did not break or lose their goods. As a result, rooms intended to store dry goods ended up cluttered floor to ceiling with their crockery.
Now, here's where things get interesting, and a lesson is to be had by all. One of the young A.P. ladies fresh back to the cliff dwelling after finishing her MBA at Utah State, had a fateful idea, "Why don't we sell these on the side of U.S. Hwy 160 to passersby".
Soon, the A.P doubled down on their pottery work. They extended their working months througout the growing season, signed a 10-year lease on a recently vacated chotsky shop, branded it the "Anasazi Papparazi", and waited for customers.
Unfortunately, they waited for a long while, as U.S. 160 had not yet been constructed . The A.P. soon realized that they were the only people for hundreds of miles around (seeing at though their descendants, the Pueblo, Hopi, Zuni, etc. had not yet been born).
The A.P.'s over-investment in hand-made pottery did not match market demand, and the cliff dwellings were foreclosed upon, in what became the Great Pottery Bubble of 1272. A classic case of an idea before its time.

4 Corners Quest - Day 7: Junior Ranger Controversy

The National Park Service Junior Ranger program is a great means of keeping your kids busy while
you enjoy the park. With a free field guide of school-style worksheets and the promise of a plastic Made in China ranger badge, you and the Missus can actually spend a moment or two looking at the vistas and reading the museum displays.
While the younger generation may be running along the edge of a canyon trying to spot a lizard, or from one exhibit to another to find learn what the study of wood rings to determine age is called (Dendochronology, fyi), you can take a moment to write in your journal, try on authentic First People t-shirts, or buy a coffee.
With 3 active Junior Rangers, the Bowling parents have life pretty easy once we pay our National Park entrance fee.
Controversy erupted, however, when Garrett traded allegiances. In anticipation of his upcoming 10th birthday next week, G-man left the 8-9yo curriculum for the 10-12yo one. In turn, and possibly motivated by this very fact, he left his Irish Twin Elizabeth for older sister Louise. When it came time to partner up, he cooly attempted to look Elizabeth in the eye (didn't quite make it; she's got steely ones), and stood shoulder to shoulder with the older crowd.
For those of you who joined us on our trip to South Dakota, you may well remember Louise's penchant for winning at Car Bingo <see here>. Garrett was tearing up Mesa Verde Junior Ranger Bingo, finding and marking off sightings of lizards, yuccas, cliff dwellings, the ghosts of the Anasazi....
Elizabeth, no longer Garrett's partner in crime, called bu!!$hit no way, as she audited his bingo board.
"Garrett, if you falsify your bingo accomplishments, Notre Dame will fact-check your resume and you will lose your head coaching job before the season actually begins, relegating you to a small Florida college where while you do a great job, you can never quite get back to the national stage. Don't trade your soul for a plastic Made in China ranger badge."

4 Corners Quest - Day 6 - Fitbittered

FITBITTERED | adjective | \fit bit-er-d\ | origin: middle-class white America | The feeling experienced when one's exercise tracking device run's out of batteries just before attempting and/or accomplishing a cardio event, thereby preventing the wearer of said device from basking in the sense of accomplishment and bragging to their 'friends' on Facebook.

Examples:
Alan's recent laziness has been tracked and recorded for posterity on his iPhone app. When he finally worked up a small sweat walking amiably with his wife and kids for 2.6 (let's round up to) 4 miles, he was FITBITTERED to discover that his Fitbit Charge HR was out of batteries. 

How is Alan to 
know, verify and prove 
the exact length, average/peak heart rate, calories burned, 
AND, with his iPhone, show the GPS route
of his bimonthly exercise
with his FitBit batteries on the fritz?
He is FITBITTERED.

4 Corner Quest - Day 5 - Accidental Hipster

In the summer of 2000, the Mrs and I were newlyweds living the dream. 450 sq.ft. brown shag carpet apartment in the Upper West Side (of ABQ) overlooking the Mesa. Enough fundage to walk to Dion's
on Thursday night for $8 sub and salad combo with a $1 movie rental from Hastings.
Given the incoming bundle of joy, we took every weekend opportunity to hike and camp New Mexico. We had months to attempt what would take years to accomplish.
As Gus and Call fans, we found ourselves hiking a small slot canyon on the Cochiti Pueblo reservation, searching out the Lonesome Dove movie scenes. It was a great day and lasting memory; Maggie and I were alone in the wilderness, climbing and being told not to climb. Good stuff.
Things have changed a bit these last 15 years. Tent Rocks the hidden gem is now Kasha-Katuwe Tent Rocks National Monument, run by the BLM, with a pay station, parking lot, rules (about climbing things; apparently, the Mrs. was right on that one; something about "heritage site"). And being Memorial Day, it was just a bit crowded. Easily 200 people throughout the hike; as we went up the slot canyon, we had to wait for others to come down (the narrow passages); as we went down, we waited for those going up.
It is just possible that the adults in the family grumped a bit.
Back in the day, there was no one here. 
We just stumbled upon it and hiked right in.
I liked this place better before it was discovered. 
It's not cool anymore. 
Maggie and I were having a great time making sure our kids didn't have a great time, until the Mrs. blurted out, "We sound like hipsters!"
It cut me like a knife.
It was a close call.
In hindsight, our petrified memories were doing their best to prevent us from a loverly day, including:

• crisp blue sky with cumulus clouds rolling along,
• a 4-mile hike up a canyon with 5 of TheBowling6 having a great time,
• No one falling off any ledges or down any ravines,
• 12 perfect legs and 6 perfect heads,
• Post hike picnic with fresh tortillas, smoked Patak meat, and a High Life, 
• Followed up by a roadside-stand purchased Navajo Taco (the Pueblos call it "Indian Taco", but we all know the truth), and
• A small bit of memory romance with my Mrs.