4 Corners Quest - Day 10: Battle of the Four Corners

4 kids

4 Corners

Coincidence?

I think not.

The Monument is in the middle of nowhere, is not in the least attractive, added a good 3-4 hours of driving, and was considered of vital interest to the #4CornersQuest participants.

The above photo was planned and negotiated more than a few times by its participants. Who is to stand where?

Emily claimed New Mexico as her birthright.

In turn, Garrett wanted whatever state was closest to China, initially estimated to be Utah, given that China is north of whatever is below it, and Utah is north of Arizona.

Elizabeth, however, with her newfound love for Arches N.P., had her eye on Utah as well.

"Garrett, I think Arizona is closer to China. Right, dad?"

Catching what she was trying to do, knowing that neither kid had a clue which state was "closer" to China, not sure myself, and not averse to lying to decrease potential tension, I followed suit, "Yep, Arizona is like 5 or 6 feet closer on the angle. It's close, but has been survey verified."

All was well, as Elizabeth and Garrett made peace with their appropriate locations.

Louise, generally casual about things that don't actually matter, gladly accepted Colorado.

Border crossing and free-trade agreements are being negotiated.

4 Corners Quest - Day 9: Dr. Bronner's Many Uses

The Funk has arrived, and TheBowling6 is infected.

It has been aided by 9 days of open-toed shoes and reused underwear.

To counter this downward trajectory, Mom amps up the previous night's shower instructions:

"Tonight I want each of you to wash your ENTIRE body with Bronner's. TWICE."

Bronner's is kept in reserve for just such a moment as this.

Garrett, our most inadvertently entertaining one, responds, "Is that the smelly mint stuff? Thin body wash? I drank it once."

Never daunted in her quest to minimize group odor, Mom encourages him, "Garrett, you can put it wherever you want. The bottle says so." 

Don't just read the bottle.

Fight the Funk.

ENJOY ONLY 2 COSMETICS, enough sleep 4 Dr. Bronner's 'Magic Soap' to clean 

body-mind-soul-spirit instantly uniting One! All-One! Absolute cleanliness is Godliness!

4 Corners Quest - Day 7: Time is Relative

Garrett was up at 5:45 this morning to stretch his legs and relieve himself from the previous night's imbibements.
When I woke the kids an hour later, he was curled up under his sleeping bag playing his double hand-me-down DS.
Maggie searched for answers, "G-man, after you went to the bathroom this morning, did you go back to sleep?"
"Well, um, the details are a bit hazy, but I laid real still for like 20 minutes, and then played my DS for maybe half a minute before dad came in.
"I was as surprised as you were when I saw how the time had passed."

4 Corners Quest - Day 7: Junior Ranger Controversy

The National Park Service Junior Ranger program is a great means of keeping your kids busy while
you enjoy the park. With a free field guide of school-style worksheets and the promise of a plastic Made in China ranger badge, you and the Missus can actually spend a moment or two looking at the vistas and reading the museum displays.
While the younger generation may be running along the edge of a canyon trying to spot a lizard, or from one exhibit to another to find learn what the study of wood rings to determine age is called (Dendochronology, fyi), you can take a moment to write in your journal, try on authentic First People t-shirts, or buy a coffee.
With 3 active Junior Rangers, the Bowling parents have life pretty easy once we pay our National Park entrance fee.
Controversy erupted, however, when Garrett traded allegiances. In anticipation of his upcoming 10th birthday next week, G-man left the 8-9yo curriculum for the 10-12yo one. In turn, and possibly motivated by this very fact, he left his Irish Twin Elizabeth for older sister Louise. When it came time to partner up, he cooly attempted to look Elizabeth in the eye (didn't quite make it; she's got steely ones), and stood shoulder to shoulder with the older crowd.
For those of you who joined us on our trip to South Dakota, you may well remember Louise's penchant for winning at Car Bingo <see here>. Garrett was tearing up Mesa Verde Junior Ranger Bingo, finding and marking off sightings of lizards, yuccas, cliff dwellings, the ghosts of the Anasazi....
Elizabeth, no longer Garrett's partner in crime, called bu!!$hit no way, as she audited his bingo board.
"Garrett, if you falsify your bingo accomplishments, Notre Dame will fact-check your resume and you will lose your head coaching job before the season actually begins, relegating you to a small Florida college where while you do a great job, you can never quite get back to the national stage. Don't trade your soul for a plastic Made in China ranger badge."

4 Corners Quest - Day 5: Nice & Cool & Comfy

Six Bowlings in one hotel room is a complicated formula, taking into consideration

• mood, 
• age, 
• available space, 
• previous and subsequent night's accommodations, 
• sleepiness factor, and 
• a bit of heartless parenting. 

Garrett, being the only boy, typically gets the short straw. If TheBowling6 were allowed to use the word 'fair' in their vocabulary (which they most certainly are not), one might observe an imbalance in the fairness market.
For one, he snores. Always has. Ear plugs are traded among the rest of us like prison cigarettes. Emily has been known to wash dishes for a pair. Those of us down on our luck, only able to afford a single ear plug, sleep with one ear protected and the other planted firmly into a pillow, unable to change sleep-sides throughout the night.
For another, he has slept without concern in just about into every available crevice we've put his way.
He typically scoffs at our attempt to thwart his sleep. Then he sleeps. Then he snores.
He's slept on:

• a folded velour blanket (the extra blanket hotels put in their closets in the mid-80's when velour was at its peak)
• the cushions of the fold-out couch,
• the bathtub,
• and, in the rarest moment, an honest-to-goodness, mattress with sheets, bed.

For this leg of the trip, Mrs booked a suite, with 2 queens and a fold-out couch. Six available spots, and one elephant in the room question: Who is sleeping with Garrett?
This question hung in the air of every lull of today's conversation, deflected multiple times with the Mrs.--patented "We'll see" until the moment of truth, as we were hustling them into their jammies.
Louise stepped up to the plate, volunteering to take the cot (TheBowling6 always has a cot on hand for our roadtrips).
Without a word spoken, the rest of us did the math:

• Louise on the cot. 
• Emily and Elizabeth share a bed. 
• Garrett get his own bed. 
• The world is a brighter place with Louise in tow.

Moments later, Garrett confides in his mama: "It's OK for me to sleep by myself. I like to do secret stuff."
Swallowing the bile in her mouth while perking up her ears, Maggie responds "Oh, really. Tell me."
"After prayers, 
when you leave, 
and it's dark, 
I take off my shirt, 
And then, 
I take off my pants, [pre-giggle giggle]
But not my underwear, [short moment of uncontrolled giggle]
Because it's nice and cool and comfy."

4 Corners Quest - Day 4: UnPacked

This is not our first road-trip rodeo. We've toured a bit as a family, and (in theory) learned a few lessons.

• You are your own mule. You carry what is yours.
• Pillows are a luxury item. Sometimes there's room for luxury in our lives; sometimes there isn't. 
• You don't need near as much as you want. There's a point in the metaphysical realm where stuff turns into crap.
• It is better to wash clothes than store dirty ones in the back of the hot van.
• TheBowling6 are unable to learn the lesson of the book: heavy, fragile objects which are better appreciated in limited quantities. 

In preparation of the 4 Corners Quest, the Mrs. developed a trip-specific packing list, including types and quantities, handed out 4 copies, sent the children upstairs, and assumed the best. As they returned down the stairs with a duffle in tow, she asked:

• Did you pack?
• Did you follow the list?

She failed to follow the advice of our former actor-President: Trust, but Verify.

• Emily brought one pair of socks.
• Louise did not bring a toothbrush.
• Garrett brought no underwear.
• Garrett brought no jammies.
• Garrett brought 2 t-shirts and 7 pair of shorts.
• Elizabeth fetched clothes out of the dirty clothes basket, adding a certain 'essence' to the rest of her bag. 
• Elizabeth packed a bottle of water, which opened and soaked all of her and her mother's clothes.

I was smrt enough to let the Mrs. pack for me. And, after a few verbal transgressions on previous trips, have learned to enjoy whatever is in there.

4 Corners Quest - Day 3. Reportable Offense

To fill the milliseconds of silence between the chatter, we find ourselves this evening talking of things to come after we get home.
"Garrett, you've got to go to the Doctor for your 10-year appointment," I offer with a level of ignorance I could never have predicted.
"She puts her cold hands on your private parts and then you scream," he responds without regard for his three sisters' proximity.
With unexpected insight, Louise chimes in, "Garrett, you would have screamed even if they weren't cold."
And to close it out, Garrett muses, "I don't even know why she does that. There's nothing wrong with my organ."

4 Corners Quest - Day 1

T-minus 75 minutes until the kids return home, are swept into the waiting transport vehicle, and TheBowling6 begins our long awaited sequel to the 2011 Bowling Westward Roadtrip. We attempted to make this trip in 2013, to be thwarted by the government shut-down, and were forced to make the 2013 Eastcoast Jam.

17 days, ~4,500 miles, heading to the Albuquerque, Durango, Moab, 4 Corners, Grand Canyon and whatever else will get us out of the car. The Mountain Time Zone is our hearts' home. Took Emily to the 4 Corners when she was 2 months old. I held her crying self over the brass boiling_lava_hot monument. I''m gong to retake that shot with her 5'-9" self, if I can manage to pick her up. Pretty sure she'll cry again.

Garrett asked to stay home. "I don't like being in the car. My back gets sweaty and I always have to pee."
Mom's response: [silence]
Elizabeth's response: "No offense, but you can be pretty gross. I want to sit next to the girls."

Just removed Elizabeth's 5-foot body pillow from the van. Sneaky Pete.

So it begins...

Never too young

Approaching Louise's birthday, mom and Garrett are parading through Target:

"I want to buy Louise something,” he begins “but I’m broke."

"Well, that's fine. You can always make her something," mom replies, bringing to Garrett's consciousness the battle for which is worse: making crafts, or spending his money on someone else.-

"Problem is," he retorts, "I need to be saving up."

"Really," intrigued mom questions; "what for?"

"Nothing.”

Short pause, then recognition that ‘nothing’ inadvertently revealed him to be a bit chintzy, “I’m saving up for my career."

Bowling Genetics

Garrett had his first basketball game today. With his myriad of surgeries, he's had less opportunity to play sports than his sisters. For being a generally clueless 8yo in his first time on the court, he did remarkably well, including a couple of nifty steals and and drives to the basket for a lay-up.
After the game, his coach asked me if he'd been playing for a while, and I started apologizing for his rookie skills. Coach immediately interrupted, "I am amazed at his coordination. Very quick. It's like he doesn't think, he just does," (his mother will attest to that last part).
At which point, in a vain attempt at political correctness, I mutter, "It's genetics. He gets if from me."

Where We've Been So Far...

The Bowling Six is planning its next Westward Road Trip.
In our previous jaunt, we ventured up to Mt. Rushmore and had a fabulous time, as remembered here.

Below is a record of where we've been to date, with the intention of adding to the list next month.

The Bowling Six through 2012

Just how old is she?

Watching the opening scenes of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with the kids. 

Trying to teach them about the events of the opening scenes: the Blitz, air raids, dad off to war, moving away to the country, etc.

They were rather more interested in the ages of the four Pevensie children, finally settling on Lucy (6), Edmund (8), Susan (11) and Peter (13). There was some controversy on Lucy's age.

Elizabeth: "She looks way older than 6. I think she's 7."

Garrett: "Dad, does she have a birthday in this movie, because she looks like she's 7."

Me: "We'll see." (magic words, handed down from generation to generation)

Elizabeth: "Well, I think she's 6 1/2"

Garrett: "Yeah, 6 1/2"

Laurel and Hardy

G: "Eliza, what's your name?"
El: "Garrett, you just said my name!?!"
G: "I'm just kidding. I don't want to know your name."

The Experiment

Garrett lost a tooth last night after after bedtime. He's lost most of his teeth during this part of the day, when he's bored (except for the one he pulled out while taking a cave tour in Colorado).

He performed a controlled experiment, whereby he did not tell anyone about the tooth, put it underneath his pillow, and waited to see what would be there when he awoke this morning.

It was a tooth.

After discussing with Elizabeth and determining that they were on to something big here, they both shared with me the story and their seemingly verified hypothesis about the nature of Fairies and Mothers. 

He asked for my corroboration. 

I deflected, "ask your mom," at which point they both clapped and cheered in anticipation. 

Why we do things...

In the car this morning, with Garrett (8) and Elizabeth (7):

G: "Uhmm, dad, is this car one year old?"

It isn't, but we bought a used one recently.

Me: "Sure"
G: "Cause we bought it in February, right?"
Me: "Yes"
G: "We bought a car in February because we needed something to drive. We bought a fridge [last week] because we needed one. And the Chinuntdets bought a house so Alex would have somewhere to put his dinosaurs."
El: "Yep, it's a pattern"

Who Did This?

We have always been honest with Garrett of his beginnings, letting him know even before he understood its implications that he was from China, that we adopted him. And in general, all things considered, he has understood.
When he was four, he asked his mother on a road trip why his little ear (i.e. the side that is missing an ear) is different than his big one. He had recognized and verbalized that he had only one ear. Maggie told him that one day he would get a 2nd big ear to replace his little one.
Well, that day came yesterday, thanks to the good effort of Dr. Jones and his staff.

An extra shout out goes to Dr. Jones for going to the mattresses with the insurance company that had determined the first 2 rounds of review that Garrett receiving hearing on the left side of his head was not considered medically necessary, and was a 'cosmetic' procedure, not to be covered by them. After Dr. Jones climbed the ladder to the state insurance commission, the insurance company's perspective changed.

Garrett became the 3rd Adam, with Dr. Jones removing a portion of his rib to carve an ear and insert it in the side of his head in the first of 4 surgeries to gain his hearing.
G-man has had a few other surgeries, and has always proven completly brave about the process. This time was no different, coupling his natural bravery with an intense excitement over the new ear. However, upon waking up, bandages wrapped over his head, tubes draining various-colored fluids from random body parts, and a covering over his rib, all bets were off. In a drowsy, dry-mouthed manner, upon the entrance of Dr. Jones into the post-op room, Garrett strains with all the drugged-up voice he can muster, "WHO DID THIS!" while holding his rib. Direct and distinct accusation in his voice.

Hoodwinked.

Shanghai'd

Mars vs. Venus

At supper tonight Eliza and Garrett proceeded to share their individual dreams. These are not the dreams of the future, but rather the Sunday-afternoon napping with the mouth half open and drool christening the pillow dreams of childhood. I'll let them speak for themselves:

Eliza: "I dreamed that we were playing on [the neighbors] trampoline, and then I came inside and Emily was in there because they [the neighbors, who shall remain nameless, to protect the innocent] didn't want to play with her anymore. And then I took her outside and we all became friends again and played together."

Garrett: "I was walking in the woods, and then someone came out with a sword, and then I beat him. I pressed a button, got into a helicopter, and then another guy shot a string up at me [interpret: zip line], and when he got into the helicopter I pressed a button, and then the helicopter blew up and I jumped out and landed on a motorcycle and pressed a button, and rode away."

"Sam" didn't market well

Had guacamole and salad for dinner, while the kids picked their favorite sandwich with carrots. The guac bowl must be guarded at all times, or the four vultures swoop in. After having my fill, I allowed the kids free reign to the remainder of the chips and guac.
Eliza and Garrett lost no time in eating and chatting through the guac process. Discussing guacamole and saying 'guacamole' is just about as much fun as eating it.
"I love avocados," Eliza says.
Struggling with the 2.5 seconds of silence within the conversation, Garrett asks, "Dad, is this really called 'guacamole'"?
"No Garrett, it's called 'sam', but no one would ever eat it with that name. I've been lying your entire life about this, and I am sorry."
Silence.
Eliza breaks it, "I like the name Steve."

Mr. the King, Ms. Parks (and don't forget Ms. Tubman)

Had to break the news to Eliza that she wouldn't be attending school tomorrow, a source of disappointment to us all. "Why", she asked.
"Because tomorrow is the celebration of Martin Luther King," mom replied.
"We learned about him. When he was a kid, he was playing with his friends and he had dark skin and his friends had light skin and their mom said that he could not come back to play with them. So when he grew up, he changed the law, because the law was unfair."
"There was another lady, who had dark skin, and she was sitting on the back of the bus. The people with light skin told her she had to go up to the front of the bus. She told them 'no', and then they arrested her."
For those paying attention to the details above, remember that to a kindergartener, sitting on the back of the bus is the highest honor, so Eliza's confusion is understandable.
Not to be outdone, Garrett chimes in, "I know about Harriet Tubman."

What I want for Christmas, by Garrett

These wishes by Garrett Bowling are as follows:

1. Mater Pillow Pet
2. Blay-blay. (Beyblade)
3. Mack, the Lego tracker trailer
4. Ninja Legos
5. Things requiring batteries