4 Corners Quest - Day 13: Nothink

NOTHINK | verb | \noh thingk\ | origin: Nick @ Night | Acting without considerations anticipated or typically found with a person of certain age and/or maturity.
Nothink is most clearly noticed when it follows somewhat mature actions, which, on their own, lead others to believe NOTHINK is a thing of the past. It has a sneaky nature.

Examples:
Louise, Elizabeth, and Garrett were climbing up and down boulders along the side of the Grand Canyon. Upon being called back to the trail by their father, Louise NOTHINKED a 10 pound rock over the ledge just traversed by Garrett and called out "AVALANCHE", missing Garrett's head by inches. 

While walking along the main road of Tusayan, AZ, a gust of wind took Elizabeth's hat off and caused it to roll into the roadway. In a moment of NOTHINK,  she put her head down and barreled out into the incoming traffic. 

For people over the age of discretion, NOTHINK is often termed DUMASSERY. 

4 Corners Quest - Day 10: Battle of the Four Corners

4 kids

4 Corners

Coincidence?

I think not.

The Monument is in the middle of nowhere, is not in the least attractive, added a good 3-4 hours of driving, and was considered of vital interest to the #4CornersQuest participants.

The above photo was planned and negotiated more than a few times by its participants. Who is to stand where?

Emily claimed New Mexico as her birthright.

In turn, Garrett wanted whatever state was closest to China, initially estimated to be Utah, given that China is north of whatever is below it, and Utah is north of Arizona.

Elizabeth, however, with her newfound love for Arches N.P., had her eye on Utah as well.

"Garrett, I think Arizona is closer to China. Right, dad?"

Catching what she was trying to do, knowing that neither kid had a clue which state was "closer" to China, not sure myself, and not averse to lying to decrease potential tension, I followed suit, "Yep, Arizona is like 5 or 6 feet closer on the angle. It's close, but has been survey verified."

All was well, as Elizabeth and Garrett made peace with their appropriate locations.

Louise, generally casual about things that don't actually matter, gladly accepted Colorado.

Border crossing and free-trade agreements are being negotiated.

4 Corners Quest - Day 7. Shut-Up Sighting

<Background Information>

4 kids,

3 daughters, including,

1 teenage and 1 preteen daughter.

14yo Emily has been pretty casual re: her flirting partners. A bit of fandom from afar (Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy fame), but not much more. A few grins and giggles.

12yo Louise has got it a bit deeper in her blood, more interest, more something or other... I don't even know how to say it.

What I do know is that boys, or the names of boys, or the fear that another may be talking about a boy she may or may not know, be interested in, or may be rumored to have interest in... what I do know is that this is dangerous ground.

<Scene One>

TheBowling6 are dwelling in some cliffs, taking advantage of binoculars to people watch, as Louise pretends to sight a boy Emily may or may not have interest in. Grin and giggle.

<end scene one>

<Scene Two>

Emily, still grinning and giggling, banters back the name of a boy that Louise may or may not have interest in.

Now, the male species would block such potentially embarrassing or accurate concerns with a well-placed 'Your Mama' joke or a punch in the gut. If only...

"Shut Up!" Louise reacts, and then, "You too!"

<end Scene Two>

<Scene Three>

The critical feature of the Scene 2 was *not* the bowing up between sisters, an unhealthy but not mind-blowing or unheard of engagement.

The critical feature, and be forgiven for not anticipating how the plot was about to turn, was the character to whom "you too" was directed.

The one you should least direct such towards, the matriarch, Mom.

Please understand that while the previously-provided documentation is based upon context clues and post-incident interviews, and while I was approximately 42' away from said incident and with my back turned, the remaining testimony was loudly and very clearly witnessed.

"No, (said with an implied 'OH', in front of it, as in 'oh no') 
"Are you kidding me?

"I don't think so

"I am your mother

"You don't say 'shut up' to AN Y ONE

"You most certainly don't say that to me. I brought you into this world, I will take you out."

There may or may not have been a few other things said that were cut from the scene to protect the Mrs. from further actions.  

<end Scene Three>

<After-Credits Scene>

Mom is given a shot of whiskey from our emergency supply kit.

Dad and Elizabeth are found crouched in a Kiva, praying that they dodge any cross-fire, hoping to make it through the night.

Garrett's post-event testimony has too many inconsistencies to be admissible. He is cleared of any charges, given his lack of motive or comprehension of what just went down.

Emily is found grinning and giggling with her thoughts of Patrick Stump.
Louise, ironically enough, is the one child who most certainly does "shut up".

<Fade to Black>

4 Corners Quest - Day 7: Junior Ranger Controversy

The National Park Service Junior Ranger program is a great means of keeping your kids busy while
you enjoy the park. With a free field guide of school-style worksheets and the promise of a plastic Made in China ranger badge, you and the Missus can actually spend a moment or two looking at the vistas and reading the museum displays.
While the younger generation may be running along the edge of a canyon trying to spot a lizard, or from one exhibit to another to find learn what the study of wood rings to determine age is called (Dendochronology, fyi), you can take a moment to write in your journal, try on authentic First People t-shirts, or buy a coffee.
With 3 active Junior Rangers, the Bowling parents have life pretty easy once we pay our National Park entrance fee.
Controversy erupted, however, when Garrett traded allegiances. In anticipation of his upcoming 10th birthday next week, G-man left the 8-9yo curriculum for the 10-12yo one. In turn, and possibly motivated by this very fact, he left his Irish Twin Elizabeth for older sister Louise. When it came time to partner up, he cooly attempted to look Elizabeth in the eye (didn't quite make it; she's got steely ones), and stood shoulder to shoulder with the older crowd.
For those of you who joined us on our trip to South Dakota, you may well remember Louise's penchant for winning at Car Bingo <see here>. Garrett was tearing up Mesa Verde Junior Ranger Bingo, finding and marking off sightings of lizards, yuccas, cliff dwellings, the ghosts of the Anasazi....
Elizabeth, no longer Garrett's partner in crime, called bu!!$hit no way, as she audited his bingo board.
"Garrett, if you falsify your bingo accomplishments, Notre Dame will fact-check your resume and you will lose your head coaching job before the season actually begins, relegating you to a small Florida college where while you do a great job, you can never quite get back to the national stage. Don't trade your soul for a plastic Made in China ranger badge."

4 Corners Quest - Day 4: UnPacked

This is not our first road-trip rodeo. We've toured a bit as a family, and (in theory) learned a few lessons.

• You are your own mule. You carry what is yours.
• Pillows are a luxury item. Sometimes there's room for luxury in our lives; sometimes there isn't. 
• You don't need near as much as you want. There's a point in the metaphysical realm where stuff turns into crap.
• It is better to wash clothes than store dirty ones in the back of the hot van.
• TheBowling6 are unable to learn the lesson of the book: heavy, fragile objects which are better appreciated in limited quantities. 

In preparation of the 4 Corners Quest, the Mrs. developed a trip-specific packing list, including types and quantities, handed out 4 copies, sent the children upstairs, and assumed the best. As they returned down the stairs with a duffle in tow, she asked:

• Did you pack?
• Did you follow the list?

She failed to follow the advice of our former actor-President: Trust, but Verify.

• Emily brought one pair of socks.
• Louise did not bring a toothbrush.
• Garrett brought no underwear.
• Garrett brought no jammies.
• Garrett brought 2 t-shirts and 7 pair of shorts.
• Elizabeth fetched clothes out of the dirty clothes basket, adding a certain 'essence' to the rest of her bag. 
• Elizabeth packed a bottle of water, which opened and soaked all of her and her mother's clothes.

I was smrt enough to let the Mrs. pack for me. And, after a few verbal transgressions on previous trips, have learned to enjoy whatever is in there.

Never too young

Approaching Louise's birthday, mom and Garrett are parading through Target:

"I want to buy Louise something,” he begins “but I’m broke."

"Well, that's fine. You can always make her something," mom replies, bringing to Garrett's consciousness the battle for which is worse: making crafts, or spending his money on someone else.-

"Problem is," he retorts, "I need to be saving up."

"Really," intrigued mom questions; "what for?"

"Nothing.”

Short pause, then recognition that ‘nothing’ inadvertently revealed him to be a bit chintzy, “I’m saving up for my career."

Where We've Been So Far...

The Bowling Six is planning its next Westward Road Trip.
In our previous jaunt, we ventured up to Mt. Rushmore and had a fabulous time, as remembered here.

Below is a record of where we've been to date, with the intention of adding to the list next month.

The Bowling Six through 2012

Lexington 2013 Video

The one above is what we show the grandparents....
The one below is what we show our friends at school;)

One of the best weeks of my life

So last week I went to Camp Westminster.The first thing you need to know is that this camp is out of the ordinary. completely, totally, awesome. When I first arrived, I checked into my cabin, Esther. My counselors were Katie, Elaina and Claire.  I had a pretty good schedule, too: Outer Ed, Step (hip hop), arts and crafts, cooking, pool.And we even got to go out on a camp out. We just hiked into the woods, and set up tents. On the last night, we got to have a party with our cabins and play truth or dare. 

I love Camp Westminster!!!!!!!!!!! 

Wedding Plans

Watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End with the kids. Don't judge me; I voted for Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This is the 3rd or 4th time I've watched it, and I still don't understand the plot.
"Dad, why..." "I don't know"
"Dad, where..." "I don't know"
"Dad, who..." "I don't know. Just enjoy the action. Don't get too caught up with who is on whose side, for what purpose and intention. They're pirates; they're not to be trusted"

There was a slight difference of opinion as to the appropriateness of Orlando's marriage to Knightley, which occurs during a hurricane - maelstrom - sword fight with fish people.
Eliza, "They MUST get married again. That was NOT an appropriate wedding," upon which Louise replied, "Are you kidding, that was the coolest way to get married"

While I tend to agree with Elizabeth, Louise's method of choice is likely less expensive to host.

What I want for Christmas. (Louise)

My Christmas Wishes are as follow:

1: My siblings to not argue, 
2: The privilege to wear makeup. 
3: To be taller, 
4: That no one would tease me.
5: So that no one would call me as follows: Weezer, Squeeze, Captain Squeezo, Tweezer and Beezer. 

These are the wishes of Miss Louise Bowling, the second oldest of the Bowling children. 

Focused Prayer

Evening hours and dark. Emily, Louise and Bowling-mom are readying themselves for prayer. Various requests are presented, but the ideas quickly run dry. "Mom, I don't know what to pray for," Louise states.
"Well, this is Christmas time, and there are lots of people who don't have family to spend time with, or who are struggling with money and cannot buy their kids presents. You can pray for them," mom leads.
"And you can pray Nathan Musgrove. He looked sick today at the Nutcracker," Emily adds.
So the prayers begin, and the three girls in turn beseech.
Upon completion, Louise adds as an afterthought, "Jesus, please take care of Nathan Musgrove." At which point, Emily responds, "What's wrong with Nathan Musgrove?" Apparently, not enough to remember.

Hi-Ya!

It is that time of year again where American middle class suburb parents unite for the purpose of enhancing our children's lives by cluttering the family schedule with some form of paid, organized activity.

Soccer: let's twirl in the backfield or run as close as possible with the other players in a blob.

Basketball: run, pass, dribble, miss; repeat.

Maggie decided it was time to stretch the girls horizons once again, "How about we sign you up for tennis?" she brought up in the car tonight.

"I don't want to do tennis, I want to do Kung-Fu."

It sounds as if the girls were together on this one.

Bowling 2011 Roadtrip – Day 11: Accolades

A quick word of pride for my daughter Louise, who has the same fears we each face, but does so with greater resolve than anyone her age I have ever known, including myself. She emulates the family saying: “Fear on the inside, Courage on the outside.”

Today, she practically begged for the opportunity to climb a high ropes course and traverse its limits. The leader encouraged me to follow Louise to make sure everything went well (as she was only ½” over the minimum height). After the second element, she turned to me and told me to stay back, “I do better when you are not near me.”

I realize her independence will cause her (and me) some heartburn and unnecessary failures, but I am impressed by her all the same.

Bowling 2011 Roadtrip - Day 5 Daily Notables

Bought two game-piece boards of Interstate Bingo at the Corn Palace; you mark off objects as you see them (overpass, tractor, 18-wheeler mud-flaps with the women silhouettes). With the kids in the back and the parents not paying attention, the child most willing to create their own truth has the best chance of yelling 'BINGO'.

Congratulations Louise for your 5-game winning streak.

Bowling 2011 Roadtrip - Day 6: Irony

Emily to Louise, “I’ve decided our special power is going to be mind-reading.”
Louise, “What?”
Emily, “Mind-reading.”
Louise, “What?”
Emily, “Mind-reading. Our special power is that we can read people’s minds.”
Louise, “What?”
Emily, “Never mind.”

Bowling 2011 Roadtrip - Day 4: Underwater Jazz Hands

2011 is the Year of the Fish.

The Bowling children can now be brought to the pool without a parent in the water with them, and possibly without a parent paying full attention to them (not that such would occur; especially not in the world of the Kindle, the iTouch or the other poolside mom-talks).

A year of freedom, of being able to swim when you want to, and take a break when you don't, without fear of impending death as soon as you take your eyes off of the brood.

Emily and Louise participated in Swim Team, learned to dive, and are experimenting with gill-transference.

Garrett has added 'ability to swim' to his historical 'not afraid to swim'.

Eliza has bowed to sibling peer-pressure, let go of the side of the pool, and found that she can flounder with the best of them.

Proud parents we are. And this pride has been deepened by Garrett's latest show of aquatic skillz. While holding his breath and going underwater, in the deep end, he sinks to the bottom of the pool, suctions his feet to the pool floor, raises his arms in the air, and gives us all the Jazz Hands. Words do not translate the joyful pride G-man has in this feat. He is already discussing his next move, which apparently he is practicing in his spare time and plans on unveiling any day now.

We'll keep you informed of its development, as well as his.

Bowling 2011 Roadtrip - Day 3: St. Louis is a Hoax

We’ll do our best to keep positive. Left Land Between the Lakes, enjoyed a drive through Paducah, KY (birthplace of Stephen Curtis Chapman and Jim Gregory), downed a dozen wonderful homemade donuts, and headed to St. Louis.

Before climbing the Arch, we stop by Pappy’s Smokehouse, made famous by Man-v-Food. Yes, it is Sunday lunch, in a town where EVERY OTHER restaurant in a ten mile radius is closed for the Sabbath, which has been shown on Travel Channel for dozens of marathons… surely the line out the door is an allusion. After learning that the line represented a one hour wait to get inside, but before learning that EVERY OTHER restaurant in a ten mile radius is closed for the Sabbath, we decide to look for another establishment.

It did not go so well. At some point, Louise is quietly crying in the back of the van. “What’s the matter?” “I’m hot, I’m tired, and I’m hungry.”

Finally have to leave the city, drive to the suburbs and eat a Qdoba. Forget the Arch – just a stupid American treasure and structural engineering wonder.

Night spent at the Oak Grove KOA in Mo. Two room cabin with A/C and a pool full of old people.

Why I Love My Mom

1. You're funny
2. Loving
3. Pretty
4. Nice
5. Sweet
6. Funky
7. Groovy
8. Good at Dancing
9. Awesome
10. Cool

Happy Mother's Day

Tooth-Fairy

I returned home tonight after 10 days away. Walking into the bedroom at 2am, Maggie turns to me and asks, "Do you have any cash?"

"I have 3 dollars", I reply, emptying my pockets of what little remained of my travels.

"Louise lost a tooth. I need you to give her a dollar."

I turn to walk the down the corridor.

"Oh yeah, she says to tell the Tooth Fairy to not put the money under her pillow when he comes home tonight. She doesn't want him to rummage through her stuff. It bothers her sleep. She said to just put it on the nightstand."