Goodbye, Nanjing!!

Hi All,
All week we haven't been able to read your comments for some reason. But just now I was able to see them all. It's great to hear from you all! Keep commenting! We miss you guys!!

This morning we have a few hours free, and then at 2pm we leave for the airport. We fly out of Nanjing at 4:30 to Guangzhou, and the famous White Swan hotel. Almost finished!!

Yesterday we went to Sun Yat Sen's (I KNOW I didn't spell that right... I don't have my China Guide right here with me...) Mausoleum, which was high on a mountain, away from the buildings, bicycles, traffic, pollution, and spitting... well, there was still spitting.... but it was a beautiful sight, just what you'd think you would see in China. Garrett is very quiet when we leave the hotel; I don't think he likes the driving around and being shuffled from place to place. He is almost pouty whenever we are out. (hey, if he thinks he can out-pout the Bowling girls, he is sadly mistaken... Emily B. is the best pouter in the 'verse!!) But it was a nice day-trip, and we finished if off with lunch and some shopping. Min helped us bargain for 2 dozen bobble-head Chinese dolls.... you're all getting one!!

Garrett must be more comfortable with us, because he is showing signs of "testing". We believe he is actually a very mischevious young lad. He has now been punished by us several times. But he also shows he understands (um, all my fears about communication?? NO PROBLEM. That kid will pick up English very quickly) by walking around to all the forbidden parts of the room saying, "No! No!".

I'm off to our room to read, pack, clean up, and watch Garrett play. Will talk to you all from Guangzhou in a day or two!
mb

Unexpected Blessing

Our guide here in Nanjing is named Min. Her husband is a police officer. When she told him last night that we would drive to Yangzhou (about 2hours away) today to visit the SWI, he insisted on calling his friend from YZ, who is also a police officer. As they chatted about this, the friend insisted on treating us all to lunch at a famous Yangzhou restaurant. Now, when Min was originally telling us this, I thought she said that the friend owned the restaurant, so I didn't think much about him wanting us to have lunch there. I also didn't know what to picture for a "famous" restaurant, having seen all kinds here in China. However, this place was beautiful; we were shown to a "VIP" room separate from the rest of the place; the table was beautifully set, complete with a lazy Susan so we could eat family style. And it was the best meal I'd had since arrivng here, maybe the best Chinese meal I've ever had. Min was the only bi-lingual one there (the police officer, his wife, and our van driver were there as well), but we all talked about China and America, and it was very pleasant. We offered politely to split the check, but the young (couldn't have been much older than us) man insisted that he would pay, "because we are friends". He said it was enough that we enjoyed our meal.
It was very kind and an unexpected blessing.

PS- I could spend another post on the driving part.... yikes!... and on how many layers Chinese mommies use in dressing thier children. I was warned of this by many people, so our son was wearing knit pants under his jeans, and a long sleeved Tshirt, flannel shirt, and heavy coat through lunch... however, the young wife still insisted to Min that "he was cold" because he didn't have four layers on....

Definitely a Bowling

Hi All,

This morning we travelled to Garrett's orphanage; the Yangzhou Social Welfare Institute. We had been hesitant to go, not knowing whether or not it would be good for him, but our guide assured us that most kids do fine going back for an hour or so and saying goodbye. Our 3 days with him have been really fine. He has been mostly quiet, moreso around Alan. He can be grinning and giggly with me, and when Alan (or any other male) approaches, he immediately gets shy and quiet. We have been fine with this, knowing that eventually he'll come out of it.... and hey, we have 3 loud children, so 1 quiet one is not a bad thing.

So we go to the SWI today, and as soon as we walk into the toddler room, he is immediately running around, chattering in Chinese (what? he speaks???) smiling at his friends... if he was 16 he would be doing high-fives and saying, "whassup???". We came at the end of naptime, so as we stood there the nannies proceeded to get each child out of their beds, add one MORE layer to the three each child is already wearing, so that some of them were the living embodiment of the younger brother in A Christmas Story ("I can't put my arms down!!").
So our sweet, quiet son starts digging his new toys out of his little bag and showing them to his friends... HIS friends... if another kid tried to get in on it, he would turn around and pop them!!! And if another child tried to get a hug from Alan or me, or show us any attention at all, he would also pop them or drag them away from us. (big talk, defending Alan from other children, when he will barely give Alan the time of day!) But the best was snack-and-potty time... the nannies pulled out a bench and lined all the kids up (including ours) against the wall and handed out a snack and a drink. Then the nannies pulled out a stack of plastic potty seats from a closet, hauled each child up on their laps, yanked their cloth diaper out of their split pants (don't know what those are? kind of like chaps.... which is funny that they put 4 layers of clothes on, but since they're all split pants their legs are exposed down to their knees...) and plunked them all down on the potty. Now, Garrett was wearing his swanky Target jeans and a disposable diaper, so he wasn't included in this ritual.... but you could tell that he was well-informed on the process, because he was walking around to each child, directing them on how to place their legs for optimal potty-ing. (a sidenote: as we lauged about this, our guide was talking about the potty-seats... however, in her Chinese accent it sounded like "party-seats"... Party Seats... WOO HOO!!) But back to Garrett micro-managing his friends... he literally walked around to each child and pointed at their feet so they would move them backwards, and if they didn't comply he applied to the nannies for backup. Alan asked the nanny (through our guide) "does he do this all the time??" and she replied: "All the time." And Alan said softly, "don't fear, kids... we're taking him away... he'll never manage your potty time again."

We were amazed at his TRUE personality, and glad we went to the SWI today so we could see it in action. He's loud, bossy, micro-managing, and a bit of a ring-leader for trouble... what can we say? He's a Bowling after all!
mb

There was a sweet side-note to this day, I will post it separately.

This will be a funny post.

Hi all,
I know that Alan has posted some good serious posts with updates about life with our new boy. It is fine so far; he is a good boy in general, but like any 2 year old, is not afraid to pout and fuss when he is unsatisfied.
Some things we've noticed about China:

"If there is room for 5".... Chinese people are not afraid to move in on one's personal space. In our hotel in Hong Kong, where we stayed on the 11th floor, we had countless opportunities to shove with many people in the elevator... if there is room for 5 more, don't doubt that 10 more will get on, without hesitation, and bring their suitcases as well. My last ride down before we checked out, we stopped on every floor and picked up 2 people at least; and I thought it was full when I got on!!

"No more 5 second rule..." We were told ahead of time that it is culturally allowed, if not downright savvy, to spit on the sidewalk, nay, to clean out one's nose on the sidewalk if need be. We were prepared for that and have taken it in stride. (sidenote: in Hong Kong there is a strict 'no spitting' policy, complete with cartoon pictures posted everywhere depicting what is NOT allowed) However, last night, while eating at the hotel's restaurant, we noticed a man at the next table decide to clean out his nose ON THE CARPET, without hesitation. Alan looked at me and said "No more 5 second rule!!"

"2 or 1?".... I think because we are Westerners, and many Westerners are overweight, the Chinese expect us to eat a lot. Our first night in Nanjing (there is a side story here that is too long to tell, and MUCH funnier in person, so ask when we get home about the "Hibachi Restaurant Debacle") we were eating at a Japanese noodle bowl restaurant, and the young waitress (17 or younger) kept on standing there as we pointed out what we wanted, and asking "1 or 2?", like we should be ordering more food. And note, from the post above, that when the waitresses stand and await your order, they stand VERY close to you and look over your shoulder, as if to make suggestions of how much you should be eating. Ahh, that poor girl... we were sure that when we walked in they argued about who had to wait on the Caucasian couple. "you do it"..."no, you do it..."

Baked Bean Count: 4 (mornings I have seen baked beans offered on the breakfast buffet)

Decorative Posters: The hotel's main restaurant here is called Humphreys, an homage to Golden Age American film. There are posters of Audrey Hepburn, James Dean, and of course, Humphrey Bogart. The two that stand out: one is a cartoon of a man holding a frosty mug and reads, "Beer: helping ugly people have s%% since 1862". Another gem.... a nude picture of an extremely overweight woman... decoratively placed next to the table for your eating enjoyment.

If you're interested, when I get home, ask about the Marco Polo tour, the British Redneck, and the Chinese PBS channel. All are too long to post.
Love to all
mb

ugly is as ugly does

God's word to me while on an exercise bike yesterday (maybe if I exercised more, he would speak to me more).
Garrett's ear is a bit odd. That is not politically correct, but it is true, and everyone who first meets him will think the same. There's 6+billion people in the world, and there's not that many who are missing their left ear. So, as a parent, you worry about him, you hope for him, that his life would never be defined or limited by such a thing...
In 1st Samuel (I believe), God teaches us that while Man looks at appearances, God looks at the heart. And God very clearly reminded me yesterday that while Garrett's ear may render him 'ugly' in Man's eyes, I have been and done things so much uglier, and so much more base, and yet God so carefully and gracefully loves me. It doesn't matter our looks, but our heart.
I pray over my kids as they sleep at night... standing over their beds. And while it is so natural to pray for their safety, their health, etc., I pray for their hearts, that they serve, and love and forgive, and give of themselves to God and this needing world. Garrett may forever be marred by some random pregnancy issue that caused his lame ear, but that issue directly led to him being given by God to us to care and love and raise him... and who knows where that will lead.
In this fashion, we ought to praise God for the strange ways He works in this world, and know that while Garrett's ear caused Man to shun him, God was and is and will be molding his heart. aeb

5 Second Rule... not so much

I know I'm supposed to be journaling about our great new son, but life is a bit too humorous at the moment.
We ate dinner in the Chinese restaurant here at the 5-star hotel. Nice place... good food. Only one small issue: the gentleman next to us kept spitting and cleaning out his nose on the carpet. Maggie's response: "It would be different if it was outside." I knew I married her for a reason.
Anyway...
Hao Ge is almost asleep. He has officially won the award for the quietest day for any Bowling child. He was responsive and kept himself entertained, but just so blasted quiet... it was almost unreal.
All things considered, it has been about as easy a day as you could ask. He has shown minor withdrawal, but really not that much, all things considered (wait, I just said that). I almost wish we could head home now and begin real life... but all in God's time.
Whichever one of you has my kids, tell them I love them and miss them a lot.
aeb

T minus 30 minutes

We're about to make like a tree and head out of here... going to meet Garrett and start the first day of the rest of our lives.
M & I have decided that humor and grins makes the culture shock a bit easier. I'll let her share later.
Thanks for your love and prayers (I must be getting soft in my old age). aeb

Here in Hong Kong...

Hi All,

I'm posting from a fancy coffee shop in Hong Kong. We have arrived safely after a VERY long flight, but we are safe. A little tired, maybe. In order to keep myself from sleeping all day we are going to take a tour of the city in a little while. We are in a great hotel with a yummy breakfast bar! There was baked beans on the buffet, if you can believe that. Most people here speak English and all are very helpful. This is a beautiful, crowded, crazy city. To wake up surrounded by lush tropical mountains was a real pleasure.
Unfortunately we will only be here today. We are leaving our hotel at 8:30am tomorrow to go back to the HK airport to fly to Nanjing. I will post again when we get there.
Maggie

Almost Ready

February 19, 2008

It is Tuesday morning, and I should be packing. Two days from now we'll be standing in line at the airport. I am cautiously excited- that's the best way to put it. I am excited, but I am worried deep down that he will have a hard time adjusting. And it's also like my parenting skills have disappeared, which is funny, because I DO have 3 kids downstairs watching "The Sound of Music". But I'm thinking, "what will he eat?" "how can I get him to sleep?" "what will we do with him all those hours in the hotel in Nanjing?".... I know that these questions will present answers in due time, but I have to have SOMETHING to worry about.
I know that we are walking a path that God has emphatically laid out for us, and while that doesn't promise smooth sailing, I do have the comfort of knowing that I am being obedient. He will take care of us like he always does.

My next post will probably be from Hong Kong!!

Final Travel Packet

February 12, 2008

Just 9 days to go! I am watching the 20-ish pages of my Final Travel Packet print out here next to me. This is the last thing to do except wait and pack! Our Travel person at our agency emailed this morning and said the YMCA in Hong Kong (where we had chosen to stay our first 2 nights) went up in price to $115 a night- for the YMCA!!! And breakfast is NOT included- in fact, it's $18 PER PERSON!! What do they eat for breakfast in Hong Kong??? So we switched to some other fancy hotel where breakfast is included.... I do love a good breakfast bar. Who knows if I'll like it in Hong Kong. I tried a salad bar once in Moscow and was treated to cabbage strips and Russian dressing... for about $8 a plate.
It has been a slow week, considering we only had 3 weeks to wait after we got our Travel Approval. Once we bought plane tickets and arranged for someone to watch our kids, there is nothing much left to do but hurry up and wait. I'll admit... I have a suitcase out already with some of Garrett's new clothes in it... Alan laughed at that.

I'm packing about a dozen books to read- hey, 14+ hours is a long time on a plane.
Oooh, my packet is finished printing. Time to read it all!

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66% Mitt Romney
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47% Rudy Giuliani
44% Bill Richardson
40% Mike Gravel
37% Dennis Kucinich

February 1, 2008

My 32nd birthday. I had hoped to have all children born at 30, but since Garrett Hao Ge Bowling is already 2+, I am still on track.

Last night Alan and I made the big leap and bought our plane tickets. It was a long process to find just the right fit. The prices were all similar, but we had to find longer layovers, nicer layover cities, had to leave Hong Kong late enough, arrive in Atlanta early enough... as it is, we are leaving February 21st at 9:52am on Continental- don't know that I've ever flown Continental, being more of a Delta girl myself. The longest flight I've been on was when I went to Russia 10 years ago, so this 16+hour business from Newark to Hong Kong is going to be difficult. Despite the fact that the "mom of 3 kids at home"side of me will be thrilled at the quiet, the ability to read, watch movies, not smell diapers... that novelty will wear off about 4 hours in, and that's only 1/3 of the way.

Anyway, we're supposed to be home on Wednesday, March 5. It's daunting. It's still not exactly real.