I'm Catman

Just completed a rescue mission over to Mr. Duane's new house. Actually, he's not in his house and therein lies the problem, a "I just moved in, haven't put a spare key outside yet, and locked myself out" problem.

Who is Mr. Duane going to turn to but the greatest little boy he knows, Garrett "I can fold myself in half while giggling" Bowling.

I pick up the phone, "Bowling, will Garrett fit through the cat door?"

There's only one way to find out.

"Everyone in the car!"

Surprisingly, when I announced our intentions, I was met by universal approval and exclamations of awesomeness by the gang.

12 minutes later, after coaxing Stinky the little white dog out of the doorway, Garrett plunges in without so much as a sweat and saves the day. His first taste of breaking and entering.

We all have aspirations

On a recent rescue mission over to Mr. Duane's house, we brought along the extra-sister Alexa, seeing as though I was the dad of many.

Emily and Louise decided to take the plunge and expand their enterprises: "Alexa, do you want to join our band?"

"What's your band's name?"

"We're the Shooting Stars," Louise proudly boasts.

"And you can play any instrument you want," Emily offers.

Alexa thinks about it a moment, realizing that if you really want to make it as a band you have to dedicate yourself fully, practice in the garage at all hours of the day, grow out one side of your hair and shave the other side, and forgo college. It is a tough decision, one that may change the fate of her life. Looking into herself to see whether she could pass up this opportunity and not live a life of regret, she realizes the most important thing.

"Can I play the flute? I'll be in the band if I can play the flute."

We all have aspirations.

You know how we are

On a recent rescue mission over to Mr. Duane's house, we brought along the extra-sister Alexa, seeing as though I was the dad of many.

Emily tells Alexa of the last trip to Club Duane, where we forgot to pack Emily and Garrett's swimsuits. They had to swim in their street clothes. "It was OK, though, because mom brought us extra clothes to change into."

Louise chimes in, "Yeah, she brought all of us a change of clothes, underwear too. It was in case we wet in our pants... 'cause you know how we are."

Ol' Blu

In early 1995 I took my amazing $300 tax return and blew it in Mecca ('REI', for the uninitiated). Bought a sleeping bag, tent, and 2 bananas ('bandanas', again, for the uninitiated).

Being the crazy rebel that I am, I refused to purchase common red bandanas, but instead opted for a light-blue and a tan bandana, which would ensure I always know which ones are mine (there's nothing worse than having a big bandana party with all of your friends and not knowing which ones to take home at the end of the night).

Ol' Blu (that's the blue one's name) was a faithful chap. Served in whatever capacity needed at the moment: a sweat rag, dew-rag, tourniquet, blanket, ear-warmer, snot-rag, dish-rag (this list is not necessarily in chronological order), food-prep station, strainer, way to meet the ladies ("Wow, that's a nice light-blue bandana you've got half hanging out of your pocket. I bet you can tell a few stories about him." "Why yes, I can."). There has hardly been a time in 15 years that I have not taken Old Blu with me on any trip of length or into the great wide open. The roughness of the cheap cotton had worn as smooth as a baby's bottom. I had even contemplated making a pair of underwear out of him.

Today, just a moment ago, my 2nd child walked in to show me a picture she made, which turns out was composed of a number of pieces of cloth cut up and taped together to in simple beauty. Ol' Blu played his final role, one he shall never return from, as the cut up front door, sidewalk and chimney smoke of my daughter's craftsmanship.

There was a moment I was tempted to react, to cry out in loss at Ol' Blu, to exclaim words of sorrow and anger at the senseless butchery. But how is a 7-year old to understand, and what can I do now to repair him anyway. He died as he lived, a servant to all. I will miss him.

I speak german

Tomorrow, this squirt of all squirts that invaded our immigrated to our house 2.5 years ago is starting kinder-garten. We all pray that they have more natural patience than I have, and that he enjoys this social experience, as well as learns to read.

Viel Erfolg!

The Fair, by lcb

Once upon a time in a far away land they were planning TWO fairs. We were going to go to the first one but our cat had kittens. They were so cute. Too bad we didn't get to go to the first fair.
But the next day we went to the second fair and there were cookies, ice cream and hot dogs and rides. When we went it rained and we got ALL WET! It got on a spinny roller coaster and got really dizzy. My brother Michael went to the contest instead and won a prize! We both had the best time ever.
I thought we would have to go at 7:00 pm but instead we left at 10:00 pm! When we went home we flopped in my bed fully-clothed and fell asleep.

The End.

Ranch Girl, by emb

Once there was a girl name Ava who lived on a ranch in Colorado. She had a little brother named Jacob who liked to pitch a tent in the living room with Dad. She also had two little twin sisters who loved to scream. Their names were Jillian and Bethany.
One cloudy Friday morning Ava looked out onto the horizon and smiled. Then her mom came, "Ava, pancakes time!". "OK, Mom." Later that morning Lexa asked "Where's Emily?"
"In Florida at Universal Studios."
"Oh."
After school Lexa came over the hang out and sleep over. They had tons of fun, pretending they lived in a cave, staying up late, eating ice cream and watching tragic superhero movies. And they slept late.
When they woke up, Jacob was in the living room asleep in a tent. Dad was feeding the pigs, and mom was making breakfast for the twins. Then they went outside to ride horses over the mountains, while Jacob played video games and the twins played barbies.
Everyone was happy.

The End.