Dwell in the comprehension that another loves you? Lie in that place of rest? Need to have an understanding of what love is, love defined to a depth wherein serenity lies.
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8
The words of love are unfulfilling: they may excite the ears and calm the nerves, but you will not rest long with them. They are empty bedfellows.
We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us;
1 John 3:16a
Love is comprehended through mutual experience. For one to remain faithful, to continue to care for you even as they witness, experience and suffer as a result of they reality of who you are (and are not), in these times the comprehension of what love is is birthed, established, accepted, settled into, and poured over our heads with peace.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:8
To be able to rest, to sleep deeply, to be a bit careless in your life... you must be loved unconditionally by someone truly trustworthy. To learn what it is to love, we must be loved in this defining manner.
He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul;
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me;
Psalm 23:2,3,4
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Garrett is in a very different spot than Emily, Louise and Elizabeth. Maggie is 'Mama' and I am 'Daddy', but while those are deeply ingrained and comforting roles and words and people to Emily, Louise and Elizabeth, they are just names of two tall people who are generally nice to him. Garrett has not the experience with either of us to rest fully in our presence. He does not yet know what love is.
So every day, as he causes and finds and gets into the trouble of being a two-year-old, he is suffering in the fear and anguish of in-experience... he does not know what love is. I can whisper those cliched words over him ("I love you"); none of it will settle over him until time and experience reveals love to him.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.1 John 4:18-19
As a parent for seven years, I have not really thought this responsibility. I understand how folks struggle with God's love because they do not know His definition, have not experienced and therefore been taught what love is. It is an emotional risk to give and receive this love. I am commissioned to bring Gods' love into Garrett's life, into all of my children's lives. It hurts to watch him not rest in my love. God must suffer as sees most of his creation not rest in Him. As we have been home these three months with Garrett, I believe I have learned a bit of this suffering.
Be gracious to me, O God, according to Thy lovingkindness;
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psalm 51: 1,2,7
