4 Corners Quest - Day 3. Reportable Offense

To fill the milliseconds of silence between the chatter, we find ourselves this evening talking of things to come after we get home.
"Garrett, you've got to go to the Doctor for your 10-year appointment," I offer with a level of ignorance I could never have predicted.
"She puts her cold hands on your private parts and then you scream," he responds without regard for his three sisters' proximity.
With unexpected insight, Louise chimes in, "Garrett, you would have screamed even if they weren't cold."
And to close it out, Garrett muses, "I don't even know why she does that. There's nothing wrong with my organ."

4 Corners Quest - Day 2 - Taking Care of the Essentials

1,350 miles of sitting on your fanny, consuming whatever random fare gets passed from one end of the van to the other, can take a toll on your insides. 
The Mrs. was tempted to alleviate certain fears by the grabbing lunch at the Tandoori Indian Food restaurant located within the Valero gas station in Shawnee, Oklahoma. Fortunately, I believe it is safe to say, my voice of reason prevailed. 
Rather, searching through the 1-gallon Ziploc pharmaceutical collection, we found daily-dose stool softeners.

TheBowling6 solidarity.

4 Corners Quest - Day 2. Can we go to the store?

I have no idea how to broach this topic with my girls. 

So when we started encountering 200 miles worth of billboards announcing its arrival, I stared ahead, kept quiet, and hoped for the best.
At the 37th billboard of the ad campaign, Emily finally notices. 

"Oh cool. They've got an entire superstore just for fantasy novels. Can we go!?"

 Silence. 

No help from the mom-character.

Silence. 

"Wait. Novel-ty. Oh... Huh, never mind."

Silence.

4 Corners Quest - Day 1 (as it ends)

Pulling into Conway, AR at midnight with 4 kids in tow, 3 sleeping fitfully while the teenager endlessly talks to her mama.
One room, please.
Two adults.
Two kids.

You know the drill. Or at least you do if you over-actively procreate.

You love God, you want to do right.
Not aiming to break the rules, but *not* about to double-down on the night's donation to the local economy by getting that 2nd room. That's why we brought the camping cot and sleeping pads.

The Mrs. is brazen. Doesn't care what I just told the hotel attendant. She's pulling every kid she can find through the hotel lobby. I don't even know 2 of them. The credit card has been run, my dear Sir, and the room is ours.

I, on the other-hand, am hiding behind the plastic palm tree across from yesterday's USA Today, wondering if I can pitch my hammock by the indoor pool to lessen our hotel-room occupancy load, and planning my morning fast to offset the entourage who will wake up in about an hour to devour the free breakfast with abandon.

4 Corners Quest - Day 1

T-minus 75 minutes until the kids return home, are swept into the waiting transport vehicle, and TheBowling6 begins our long awaited sequel to the 2011 Bowling Westward Roadtrip. We attempted to make this trip in 2013, to be thwarted by the government shut-down, and were forced to make the 2013 Eastcoast Jam.

17 days, ~4,500 miles, heading to the Albuquerque, Durango, Moab, 4 Corners, Grand Canyon and whatever else will get us out of the car. The Mountain Time Zone is our hearts' home. Took Emily to the 4 Corners when she was 2 months old. I held her crying self over the brass boiling_lava_hot monument. I''m gong to retake that shot with her 5'-9" self, if I can manage to pick her up. Pretty sure she'll cry again.

Garrett asked to stay home. "I don't like being in the car. My back gets sweaty and I always have to pee."
Mom's response: [silence]
Elizabeth's response: "No offense, but you can be pretty gross. I want to sit next to the girls."

Just removed Elizabeth's 5-foot body pillow from the van. Sneaky Pete.

So it begins...