Spring Break Pics

Dare I merely post some family pics, without some acerbic and incisive commentary. I don't know if I have the strength...

Bowling Spring Break 2010

Meet Jeff Foxworthy

We have a friend who is a little boy. For the sake of this post, we'll name him 'Alex'. As is common with little boys, he has a childlike voice, a tendency to insert words that he does know when encountering a phrase of words he doesn't know, and a bit of natural machismo.

Alex has a big brother. We'll call him 'Andy'. Andy does a thorough and respectable job raising up Alex. They practice fisticuffs and launching things at each other. Good, red-blooded, Republican-value, American things for boys to do.

Emily and Louise pass the time been imitating Andy and Alex.
Emily, being the older of the sisters, plays Andy: "Put 'em up, put 'em up".
Louise, being the younger of the sisters, and the comedian, responds just as Alex does, in imitation of his brother "Pea um buh... Pea um buh...", which is loosely transcribed "Peanut buttah... Peanut buttah..."

Louise has her hands up, fists balled together, rotating her arms to and fro like an Old World pugilist, grinning ear to ear, dancing the floor of our bedroom this morning. "Peanut buttah... Peanut buttah."

Maggie and I do not recognize the language, but giggle at the reference. Louise, seizing the moment, leans over, grabs Maggie's stomach, and repeats "Peanut buttah... Peanut buttah..." We all laughed (some more than others) and Louise slid out the door before any repercussions could be wrought.

"The events depicted in the blog are fictitious. Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental."

My own way...

Louise, being tired of running the slides alone, attempted to garner others' support:

• Mommy: "it's too cold" (code word for "It is too cold")
• Emily: "it's too cold" (code word for "I don't like things scary")
• Daddy: "in a minute" (code word for "I'm too lazy to walk over there and slide")
• Garrett: "where's 'Liza" (code word for "Where is Eliza")

But there was one who would listen, one who would face life's dangers with Louise: Elizabeth.

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It might be noted that Louise didn't exactly explain to Eliza what she was going to partake in, or that she didn't measure up (literally, she was an inch too short), or that Elizabeth isn't exactly known for being malleable. These are mere trifles to little-Lou.

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We watch her take Eliza by the hand, walk with her across the pool area, coax her as she hesitated at the start of the line, stand behind her and apply consistent gentle pressure up the stairs, and negotiate with the lifeguard when it was discovered that, yes, Eliza was an inch too short ("But Mr. Lifeguard, she has a lifevest on, and she is a seasoned veteran of such affairs"). Eliza, for her part, believed that she was entering a slide portal comparable to the kiddie slide across the way, with a 2.5' elevation drop across a 5' long slide. Louise may have undersold the actual dimensions a wee bit.

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Things started well, but took a turn when Eliza stopped herself at the end of the slide, just before the 3'6" plunge pool (Eliza being 3'4" tall), and crawled out of the slide onto the side of the pool. Unfortunately, she crawled out into a place with no exit. The lifeguard (I believe the correct phrase would be "Bless his heart"), climbed over to Eliza, tried to reason with her (not an easy task), and tried to encourage her to climb back into the slide and then over the other end of the slide so she could escape unharmed.

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All the while, Maggie and I watched in muted laughter from the other end of pool, est. 75' away, half-way getting up, then sitting down, expecting that any minute the lifeguard would just pick Eliza up and toss her across the pool towards the stairs. Finally, as I guilt Maggie into getting up and taking care of her youngest, Eliza climbs through to freedom.

Louise was back in line for the next round of slides.

Things I have learned this week

1. 
   
   There are a lot more bad ideas for tattoos than good ones. People who go into a parlor asking "What do you think I should get?" ought to be immediately turned away. People who want to advertise their favorite pastime (NASCAR, the Bulls, the Longhorns...) ought to buy a t-shirt. People who want to put detailed 5"x5" pictures of both of their children, in color, as babies, on their calf... well, people whose right calf is big enough to put two 5"x5" color pictures of their children, they're exempt from these rules. Do what you want.
2. The Orlando economy has over-estimated its worth. At the store here at the hotel, a 12 oz. bottled Coke is $2.67.
3. Playing "Connect the sunburn dots" is a lot more fun than it sounds.
4. Middle Schoolers are at the absolute peak of life-selfishness.
5. In person, bikini-wearers don't look the same as they do on the cover of the magazines you pretend you're not looking at while in line at Kroger.
6. The Bowling Six is threading the time-needle between having the youngest old enough to not be a drag while having the oldest young enough to not think that we are a drag. We must cherish these few days.

Def Leopard, here we come

She's her own best friend.

And while Emily immediately finds a couple of girls her age to befriend for the next 3 hours...
And while Eliza prances around as a Queen in her own kingdom...
And while Garrett follow Eliza...
Louise takes the pool park by storm. Straight to the top of the tallest slide, and then over to jump into the side of the pool over and over, and then into the water squirting area. Repeat until we pull her out.

And at the Daily Sliming, here at Nick hotel, where the kids gather at the base of a 10' tall bucket of slime chanting in unison for its release,

While Emily is finishing getting her hair done and looking for excuses as to why she will get slimed 'next time'...

While Eliza is fretting in complete exhaustion on the side of the pool covered in towels...

While Garrett is asking if we could go 'home' (you mean the hotel room, Garrett? "No, I want to go to our Georgia home"),

Louise is smack dab in the middle of the crowd, holding her own against those of considerably greater girth, and counting down.

As the slime poured over the crowd, Louise raised her hands in the air and pumped them in pure delight. I believe she is ready for an 80's hair band concert.